5 Ways to Help Kids Deal with Mean Kids

Some kids are mean, some people, in general, are just plain mean.  It’s unfortunate that we can’t change that, but it’s just the way it is.  When it comes to our kids though, many of us would do anything within our power to prevent hurtful things from happening to them.  We can’t of course, so the next best thing is to try to teach our children the best way to handle this particular pitfall of life.

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When it comes to school, it seems that there is nothing that we can do to completely prevent bullies and mean kids from doing what they do, so here are 5 ideas to help kids deal with mean kids.

1. Teach them to speak up for themselves. Encourage your children to speak up for themselves when someone has said or done something mean to them. If someone is giving your kid a hard time, have them ask why. A simple, but kind “Why are you trying to hurt my feelings?” will go a long way toward making the mean kid realize what they are doing. It’s even better if there are people around to hear the question.

2. Tell them to speak to the school counselor.  I find that speaking to the counselor is better than speaking to a teacher because it is private.  Instead of walking to the front of the classroom, he/she can feign a bathroom break and stop in at the counselor’s office.  If they speak to the counselor about issues with another student, it will remain confidential and can lead to a change in the situation.

3. Show your child how to treat others kindly.  When your child is treated badly by mean kids, you or they may want to retaliate in kind, but what you really should do is to encourage your child to always be kind.  This doesn’t mean that they have to go out of their way to be kind to those that are mean to them, but if they go out of their way to be kind to everyone else, that makes it pretty difficult for others to jump on board with the mean kids.  Everyone else will know what a kind person your child is and that, in turn, makes the mean kid look worse.

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4. Make them understand that this happens.  It’s important for your kids to understand that mean people exist and that this has nothing to do with them. It is not their fault that people are mean so they shouldn’t let it affect the way that they perceive themselves. Be sure that they know not to let the mean kids win as they will only feel more powerful if they see that it brings your child down.

5. Be their support system.  It is imperative that you always be there for your child in their time of need. If they have been dealing with mean kids or bullies, they likely need to vent.  Whether they want to yell, cry or just talk they need to know that you are a safe person for them to come to. Don’t judge them and make sure that you listen to them and their feelings. You do not want them holding all of this inside and not telling anyone.  No good will come of that.

Perhaps though, the best way to beat the mean kids is by building your kid up. I am not a mental health expert by any means, but I have found that many mean kids have one thing in common;  they are deeply insecure and they are trying their best to bring themselves up by bringing others down. Have you ever heard the quote “You never look good trying to make someone else look bad”? This is very true and the older your child gets, the more they will realize this, but until then, do your best to build up your child’s confidence so that these mean kids can’t bring it down.

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About the author


Diane is a New Jersey-based writer and blogger. She is a wife and the mom of a 13-year old boy. Through her blog, she wants to inspire moms to find Zen in their lives while offering practical tips and other valuable information to help families deal with everyday issues. Contact her at dianenassy@gmail.com

5 Ways to Help Kids Deal with Mean Kids

by Diane time to read: 3 min